wtf

11.5.2012 wtf indeed... how..where do i even begin? still single.. havent been with PSN since June... was with one for a few wks..(lisa) that was a wacky mess... cant believe all that rly happened..prior to that krista was in my life for a wk or two.. as of right now no longer friends or partners with squared- DID recently play with Ethan of Crystal Castles at the Primary gig.. it was an honor to talk about the Robert Smith collaboration.. bumps in the corner the corner on lockdwn with Maris Moon - its good to be friends with the owner- Tho bad thing.. got 3 parking tickets that same nite.. $260 in total.. O btw helpd out Tiffwiff outta nowhere after she when thru sum BS with an EX o n my car got broken into at the MiD same nite as TIFF began.. in the mist of aid'ing her.. got 4 moving violations so prob losing my license this month? im rly getting fkd from every angle... Been semi talking to the Brttny chick - i thnk majorly hawt..but has a bf.. so she'll prob just use me and lose me like all the rest... one day i'll find reason for some kind of self worth.. but for now im crashing down goin in all kinds of debt.. like what do i say.. how can i sum up.. had a few gigs.. both partners let me down on prime moments.. tho giving light to new friendships with Knex,, and as always Mateo and Datum in times of need..Bee a life savor.. Zelenka for booking me tho havnt gotten paid..havent gone fast in a few days.. oh yea. that was major thing.. been fast all this time.. wasted countless numbers of hundreds of dllrs.. probably the reason why i got dumped... of why im alone sitting here by myself.. how far do I go? how far should have gone? Kymatica is good flick hosted on my site http://datanow.info/meditation/ there was a crzy storm affecting the east coast i started a charity for help for them.. i have a few charities up now but most people dont do much.. i am for the movement of selflessness not selfishness.. Be Jesus dont follow jesus...

Walking the line

8.1.2012 I find myself at a crossroad- i feel like there is not much purpose for me. after all is said and done..all the spoils of a wasted life.. This year i lost my cat, my gf, my car, almost my hand, almost my life, friends, people like my family, and who knows what else is to come... I had a glimmer of hope but it seems like that gleaming image is just like a star..something that once was..but is no longer.. I feel like i'm grasping at shadows... I've been not going fast for a few days now.. lst break? who knows months ago...year(s)? I'm confused but trying to make it forward...but if my direction is off..? then what way i am going? it feels like just down..my heart hurts like never before and i have done things i can not understand nor believe... what has become of me? Is there hope for me? again.. like once before it felt like dreams come true..but then i realized my life is nothing more then broken dreams...and bad ideas... Maybe i was meant to be alone- maybe i was meant to die in that car accident? would the world even notice my lack of presence? Trying times these are... and i feel so close to just giving up.. btw have a nu band called trmnl.freq (terminal frequency) w/ Just Kevin (DJ Fraud)

today

is the last day i can follow old continual patterns. Today is my last. I now need to work on the escape route to the rest of my functional life. I may consider school or become reserved and concentrait on savings for moving out if not moving in general. I knw the next part of my life will be only as i make it and allow it but i feel i am governed by good intentions, a moralistic foundation, and my own human nature. Perfect is just a word but i understand its time for a change to allow myself to ascend to the next level of my existence. No one said life made sense but truth is truth and life is about choosing ones own path for self discovery and it should not be preconceived by anyone else.

the accepted pattern of functional species adaptation

no<][mez][> we won't.

the phylogenetic scale.


(vaccinations) = a social necessity
if(then) = raising ur child as part of a mainstream westernised community
= chemical buildup/antibody reactive base
= [add.ON engineering]


<][xxxx][> ..but at least its within the parameters of an enclosed system
[if u believe current scientific theory that is]
<][xxxx][> nature [as in ecosystem-based] is contained, and part of that is
struggle for survival and reproduction, yus?
<][xxxxx][> eros and thantos
<][xxxx[> self-replicating [and NOT individualisation] is necessary to that
system



<][xxxxxxxx][> of course as humans we are so species_centric and overpopulate beyond the boom/bust cycle of resource usage ie lemmings-style cycle of overpopulate then actively self-cull] that we fuck this delicate balance up<][xxxxx][> we hyperaccelerate beyond the parameters defined by the strict concept of evolution.<][xxxx][> ..but _beyond_ the accepted pattern of functional species adaptation....xxxxx the whole point of this discussion re: genetic modification is that nothing exists in isoltion<][xxxxx][> isolation, even<][xxxx][> that the whole spectrum of altering *1* organisms genetic behaviour [culturally decreed as well as biologically] will effect all. [pinprick_evolution]

To: _arc.hive_ , WRYTING Subject: gravitystretched smileys for youDate: Mon, 08 Mar 2004 13:51:20 +0100

1.28.2012

I am here. ascended. balanced in an unbalanced time. listening to Polygonlate and on the verge of many opportunities where every step i take is a possible earthquake..but what is realistic? what is definite in a time where transitions are rapidly occurring. Occupying your mind should not be a challenge but being bombarded from microfrqncys from every direction can only hinder one's self potential. Positivity is one of the hardest things to reflect and project but in this time of flux i have hope a collectiv unconsciousness intensifies for the good whatever good may be for each person and the light will balance the dark.

Gigs... Feb 10th Proof Chicago.
Feb...?? Zombies Vs Skeletons
March/April..?? Source..??

Working on Trailer for Total Recall w/ AutoAxon... I am very fortunate to have booked him back in 2004... he is a good solid person.

Squared is moving...
Will be looking into a sponsorship perhaps

Made some real positive connections w/ Nick (Chris Angletec) Alexis Luke and a lot more bigger people...
Intension perception equal direction = reality

where am i

I feel like im divided and dividing @ a fork in the road...i am living my life but my direction is increasingly gaining speed in all directions..so its hard to understand why how how for the best living..what is the best living..what is happy what is suitable what id right..what is my worth what is worthlessness to who to me? am i still dealing with beta testing and i live and not aware tho the signs are everywhere and i dont have a blind eye i just a dumb mouth.. and questionable brain.. every action has a reaction and from some destruction forms creation or a creature nation?? lol.. this place is changing is this change in my dimension my illusion my reality my interpretation my desire to be one with my vibration and one with earth and higher power. I am I my own internal power.. questions concerns all meaningless or unimaginably very meaningful and to who? should i strive should i give up take a chance or disappear and vanish