Tuesday, December 21, 2010

12/21/2012



So thngs have been changing...Square'd n I are not as close as we once were...infact i feel totally distant from everyone lately..off in my own world am i? working hard toward pointlessness? racing to an self made impact on my own life? tho did go out last sat night w/ PSN met up with AutoAxonand got recognized by a few people...cool?
Got a booking for NYE...lets see how that goes... Album due within 7 wks? Self infliction is only good for the self and no one else? wasting away? or held back? choices...living...
what have i become? my sweetest friend...and all that could have been..still

here comes 2011... nu year...nu choices

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

huh..Nov 25thish


recap- Pick up TSF from airport-he was very chill- Thursday T-Day spent time w/ PSN fam. then pkd up Squared from P's(twas his Bday) Pck up Tw3ak from GrandP's then Booze for a bit back at Squared'z - Somehow earlier that day got a booking at the event above...^.. scoop up Jen' roll out to event.. Were first to go on....party was prtty bumping when we were leaving...oh wedid tho play one of the BEST sets of our life...its a mystery why the best thngs arnt recorded...then to RIchieHawtin @ SPyBar... EPIC i cant really explain..but wow amazing music amazing people amazing time shared alot of drinks
i mean a lot of drinks...he got way to drunk and on way home big fight... crazyness -- but all should be good- Great Dekalb thanksgiving tooon the 27th but someone hit my car....bastards...more prob but gotta bounce

Thursday, November 18, 2010

11-18-2010

Played abby pub little bit ago- it sounded good- wehelped form Mana-Itsnot ended-The party was Epic- Gobble Wobble cant be thrown... its a shame...life is traveling and its almost 2011..should make sure all i care about knows how to swim....

i feel like there are people watching me for nogood reason...im just a face in crowd...-- Do i really matter? Does my music really make any kind of impact? Do i ? im just wasting my time i think and i should stop wasting everyone else's... how does someone from [esc]ape escape?- i am greatfull for Nicks friendship... Psn Auto and I went to Jerry's on Damen and Divison and it was amazing...im tired... il sleep

Friday, October 29, 2010

10/29/10

been a busy few months. A collective has begun. AutoAxon IS. We played Sub-Human2..Epic. - played Unity - Blackout- whichwasaCrazymisadventureinitself-almostapossibleneardeath experience4Square d-
fine all good now? Stillhave2mailbackGPSandPower...Nextevent Nov3rd w/ Kompute @Abby- then the worlds first Interactive party! Growing are things- potential =positivity- What we represent to them is the future- we are the now.

also----http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulacra_and_Simulation

Sunday, October 10, 2010

been too long 10/10/10

http://www.urb.com/2010/10/10/kompute-records-10-year-anniversary-interview/

Were mentioned in URB!!!!

played Sub human 2 booked by Autoaxon- Nick is amazing. booked 4-5 am. Amazing turnout. (=

too much happened i forgot...

Kompute Nation!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

9/7/2010

WkND BACKUP-
Sunday went 2 Northcoast Music Fest- Saw Flying Lotus, Green Velvet, Lupa Fiasco, Zig Marely, a few others...fun times with PSN, Kathy(friend from wrk) and her friends 9 Like BRC)
well Meow..the fest was pretty kool 0 Freak'n like 2 blocks away from the old studio...oh i miss thee... Friday and Saturday were Pepsi nights with Dan(psn 1/2bro) friday..ending up @ @ galloway's- Good times - OH YAH saw Matt this wknd he almost died 2 wks ago... major car crash hes mom's suburban...broke his back and He is OK!!!!
its good to knw hes not dead
Monday had a good music session with Squar'd minor Hole..but good tunes came from it (= very productive.

Friday, September 3, 2010

09/03/2010

Its friday before a 3day wknd.
Its been defining moments that have shaped my existence via musical treasures...cuz there's treasures everywhere - what is it im doing? going? been? Square'd has been badnewsbears kinda with this $$ and employment situation- tho he is getting a comp and bike via dead great relative...like me and my new sexibatmobile- Oh Life. Its already turning into the end of summer...and im not quite ready but i guess i should be. Our next gig is Unity Black- it should be our last one of the year...unless there is a Kompute shindig... well see.

Monday, August 30, 2010

8/30/2010

where to start- @ work... It's my dad's birthday today. Took him out to breakfast with PSN yesterday- it was good -
Thursday night bought a 2010 Nissan Altima...um..ya.. FUCKING YAH!!!! Been working on new tunes with Square'd..good things..alot has been generated by him with adjusting notes and working back and forth. imac is getting fixing (again...) But everything should be corrected for Unity Black. A lot of prep work is sounding good. Promotions look good.
life is fickle... I say a bad accident this morning when driving to work. A woman rear-ended another lady and the woman who hit the car in front looked either dead or un-conscious.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

update 8/11/2010

@ work- Wed.
Played Show on Friday- soundcard issue's was going to go thru Nick's Soundcard- but he had comp probs so that didnt happen- tho I installed the device driver and it somehow removed the default one. after that BS it was fine- pics up here Gunplaywebsite White n Dry KILLED IT!!! people gettin down n durty on the dance floor. very excited about the release- so is MN (=
Setting up with Jinglepunks - money is to be made now. Album needs to be started NOW. Smartbar Next Friday

Friday, August 6, 2010

08-06-2010


At work - its Friday- Booked to Auto Axon and Gunplay to play

Monday, August 2, 2010

8/2/2010

Monday here @ work- went to dunes on sat. got there late afternoon- crappy hotel cuz D n L are cheap asslicks- boozed - stopped by a wine tasting / art show... water was super relaxing started a song at the very top of the Dune (Mi) then went swimming all was fine then i got dumb started a fight w/ PSN
then back to hotel to shower and relax boozed a lil more then did search for dinner got pizzahut..pretty blah then went for venture to see starts...first walk was ok saw a shooting star- second attempt fail due to 2 dogs - 3rd attempt wasnt even a street so it got late n said F'it Sunday beached all day clay pit walk PSN got sunburned swimming was super relaxing and fun but D&L were prtty distant Jen was burned n wanted to go They got all pissie n bitchy- Collisions happend at Restaurant - pretty sure friendship is ended with squared...100 hr rule...but still plan do gigs w/o squared.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

end of a era ?

Squared is being all super terrible. I will figure this out by today...
either way I need to know his position so i can straighten out Smartbar and the future of [esc]ape

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

7-20-10

AT work
Mom just got in town. Lots of good work music wise for upcoming gigs- lots of great vocal work. been pretty chill lately. blew off the Steve Aoki party and the campout event we couldhave been booked at. hanign out out AutoAxon and good things will come.

Friday, July 16, 2010

wow. 7/16

what a crzy little while its been- Got Reaktor via AutoAxon- SICK!! ! ! !

life have been going fast
Booked @ Unity "Black" Oct 23rd. and Smartbar will be Aug 20th- more later? prob forgot O possible party being thrown by us? Dec.2010

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

KabLaMo! 07/06/10

Ok so Yesterday the 5th was my First Paid Day Off (= Wooo. Crashed out @ PSN's sunday night, we got up Boozed with w/ TSFnny aftr Portillo's went to ToothyJoes blz'd then back home to shower and relx for a wee bit. then music @ Square'ds and was wating to AutoAxon to come through but reconvened too Sunday for music/program assistance. Sunday was the 4th..Rollie pollied fungus
PSN really liked the fireworks - D and L and J and I watched @ Ty had a great Spot- i brought an Ipod and decent headphones listening to Daft Punk ALive 2007 while watching the fireworks it was Really a great way to enjoy the hpEflp- We Boozed and Grilled @ Jens house for a bit b4- Good times- Met up wth Dan and Lisa and some of ther friends after the Fireworks @ Ty also I Helped Find this Guys Keys he was looking for over an HR and I found them w/in 1 minute. Glad I could help. -July3rd- Saturday went to house party for a few @ Bonnies and Clyde Frogs friends off of 83rd. Justin met us there it was kinda lame but then We meet up with Mateo and little J'
@ Kensington park B.East @ like 1:30am it was pretty BaDAss- Friday Went to Soundbar for Deadmau5 afterparty- We had an OK time. the club has new management- doubt i'l go back there ever again- We didnt pay to get in, I got a few Free drinks..but Honestly NOT EVEN Worth it.... Its a shame b/c the Sounds and Lights are Great...but the Bouncers and People who run it... FAIL. Justin was Ban'd from the club before he could even get in...so we left Met up By the W and boozed
on the st. corner. then went to a party that got busted before we got ther. thne drove- got ditched by Tw3ak D and L cuz they were in his mom's car...guess they went to a blkClub made friends - L drove his car home he hit like 3 cars when we started to drive...good times for'em but we went back home around 3am. wooooooo Prob more happend but dont recall..oh life...

Monday, June 28, 2010

Brand new day 06/28/10

Started new job today and my car battery died and i was 5 seconds away from being late.
the weekend...was something... thursday - my last day in Cust care. got boomers from Mateo ate some and worked on music - of Life - had a long night @ squareds Jen had work so she went home early. Friday was a pretty chill day- hung out by myself mostly. did the laying in sun thing relaxing, Dave n L went to beach w/o me - just kept it local Jen slept over fri night and saturday was pretty chill day to- ended up bowing off some mega party - eat more with Jen and watched Moulin Rouge which was pretty awseome- sunday Mall...then stupid fight @ night w PSN... today is my first day in the new dept... Life it feels has taken a turn... i feel a distance from Dave - I hope its something that fades...but i fear [esc]ape is dwindling away...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

6/23/10

My birthday is over- Got new license-
Went to work 12-6. Went home cleaned up left for Jens - got Portillio's n boozed with her Pop's then we headed to Squared'ds
then we headed to Jewel to booze it up with blueberry and pineapple vodka - more laters

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

well im 26...

june 22nd 2010

so im stuck @ work..got up super early to get my nu-license.
oh well thats Life. Worked on some really promising songs last night. I am going Full Time in a different department- woo? No idea what im going to do to celebrate my birthday. Maybe some party @ Bottom Lounge or a Massive Event or nothing at all. Not really having any real celebration 2day i guess. No phone calls or nethng at the stroke of midnight from ne friend but whatever time to grow up. I hope im doing the right thng going full time - oh well. Im sure i have lots more to say im just tired- tihngs are slowing down. Maybe get sum booms via Mateo and renting lights for daves basment..

Friday, June 18, 2010

6/18/10

so im almost 26... fun fun ? I treated PSN to get him to the greek last night- it was funny- My computer takes 7 tries to turn on now... prob have some issue with my logic board again... ugh..i dont know what to do for my bday... rent some lights, rolliepollie @ Square'ds? go downtown? Bar it up? Jen is 21 ther is a few things goin on this wknd and next wknd...but honestly who Really cares about my bday...I do really love the speakers PSN got me. my car is 10000% better now for driving Im lucky :D
Prob going to work alot of music - have to finish Mt Sims and start W & D.

Prob going to do something full time...actually work...have my soul be completely crushed by this pseudo-planet and all its miseries...but yah to having more money... woot?

Friday, June 11, 2010

woot woot 6/11/10

so here sitting @ work things have been slow this week
Oh life so we got the update about Kompute 10 yr anny party @ Smartbar Aug 20th... so ya we're booked @ Smartbar... Woot Woot? we'll prob suck ass cuz our music is sucktastic and no one likes us. We'll just end up embarrassing ourselves soo double woot...i feel like everything we do is pretty much a waste of time and life....what am i doing here?? like in all honesty? who am i and whats my point..self delusion only works for so long...persistence is one thing...but insanity is described as doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results...IM FUCKING SICK OF FUCKING PHONE CALLS... I HATE MY JOB... I REALLY CANT... People are soo amazingly stupid it really hurts..

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

06/08/10

only a few weeks left of being 25... then its 2 6 ...ugh still work part time... still live at home... still people barely care about anything our music has accomplished...but i have been moving(i hope forwardly)...but its coming to a point of why. If a man can only leave behind his legacy, how is that determined.. actions defined by life cause a man to be considered great...but our fragile little minds have been warped by TV to make us believe that our lives are made out of a greater purpose..but really?? Why? we are meaningless nothings in a vast blanket of nothingness...i feel like this is a defining moment of realizing that, yes life is nothing but our ability of freewill/choice and our ability of creativity and the outcomes of our actions, but also what meaning we put behind them...but all the meaning in the universe means jack shit if not a single person cares...ya its getting harder each day to make myself care due to the past experiences. our music is ours and is everyone elses who chooses to experience it, but it really seems like were drowning in a sea of mediocrity....and without desire @ what point do i just give up. emptiness is a shadow lingering closer with each day and i do what i can to keep it away i cant help the forces keeping us @ bay....

Monday, June 7, 2010

Cultuer Shock WKND 06/04/10-06/7/10

ok So friday was Culture Shock thrown by Adonis- we were booked to play Band Stage on Sat @ 12 AM....things worked out at we played @ 7 am on Saturday...to an open field... the time was something of itself... I did buy a tent ( but it wasnt a tent it didnt have poles) so we ghetto rigg'd it (which was my idea)withy my jumper cables so the tent was like a tepee. It was Squared L Psn n myself. Well I typed alot before but i guess I lost alot....ohkay lets start this again...
Boozed out there in the farm we got to watch the sun rise it was quite magical ( d L and myself) Jen fell asleep around 4am - the party friday was prtty much a bust but we made it a good time-
Satuday was Bonnies 20th bday party @ dan's and I totally love "Jake" the most interesting dog in the world- booze a lil there Jen and i crashd out @ my house..sunday Ugernt care w/ PSN for Uti- things should be better soon kinda chill out day saw Splice @ hollywood blvd blah blah good times

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

i got a spotted rubber duckie 06/02/10

woooooo its June already?!? Still this Life has been going Fast...SO lets go back- Saturday PSN, DnL & Myself left for D.E.M.F Movement 2010...DJ Hype(Sat), (newly discovered) Ghostland Observatory(Sun) - who put on an extremely excellent performance..Pretty Much EPIC. heard a tiny bit of Plastikman's shibbityshaww..but Ghostland Obsv...Gaawdammmn Perfect. We stayed @ a pretty decent Hotel Greektown Awesome view !! We were on the 20th Fl - Lots of fun with costumes, consuming
, dancing, talking, watching Tosh.O - Lots of fun stuff (= The ride up was not bad we made pretty good timing - sun roof almost didnt close while driving up the Detroit- it finally closed after about 30min of being stuck open- First night was Hype Hype Hype (= Squared wore old man mask I had L's Mannequin 2 sunglasses a blk wig and a hoody that i altered- PSN wore her extensions and they looked really good- L wore some thng she thrw 2gether. Fun times (= Sat night Square'd n I went an afterhours a few blcks away that Alex was hosting- Sunday was EPIC!!! The lights and Lasers for Ghostland Observatory is fucking done Right!!! Jen was wearing her babymask and looked friggn sweet!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

been a lil bit 05/25/10

so where to begin...lots of stuff..kinda. TSF sent me a link about this dad
crazyness - Been working alot on the Future Forward Remix of Time for Living ( Matt Nee and Mount Sims) Things still going Fast...of Life...DEMF is this weekend (: we'll see how it goes... OH so last week I sold my EFX Processor for $260 to Keyphase ( Ken and Drew) and I hope it was a good choice on my part...and I hope it works out well for them...PSN got like all A's and 1 B i think in school so Im super proud she did so good (:

Thursday, May 6, 2010

definition of irony

Im super tired here at work...and hungry... i see an email from Wendy and there is food here on the back wall...its Turkey.. Ha.

The past few days its been a trip. Saw Kickass it was Way better then i expected...my dad comes back from Cali on Mothers day ( sunday ) Dave n I have been working on the Time for LIving mt. Sims remix...hopefully it was be done for Detroit...

Oh LIFE is pretty wacky at times. We played a party on Friday the 4/30 it was meh... Angel booked us and the spot was kool..but the music they wanted to hear isnt what we do... well we did bust out some Owl challenger and they liked that and a few others liked our stuff..but overall meh...

Monday, May 3, 2010

david bowie quotes

I wanted to prove the sustaining power of music.
I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.
I believe that I often bring out the best in somebody's talents.
It amazes me sometimes that even intelligent people will analyze a situation or make a judgment after only recognizing the standard or traditional structure of a piece.
Pixies and Sonic Youth were so important to the eighties.
When you think about it, Adolf Hitler was the first pop star.
I never could get over the fact that The Pixies formed, worked and separated without America taking them to its heart or even recognizing their existence for the most part.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

for poops n giggles

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMWz3G_gPhU Facebook
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfKrfB7vQgg&feature=related Aliens
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6vHQbsrrEw Aliens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BToUxSi-QwA&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyXspoOa1hc&feature=related

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

updates 04/23/2010-04/29/10

first off---A 7-Eleven store in an unincorporated area of west suburban DuPage County was robbed at gunpoint late Monday.
About 11:45 p.m., a man with a red bandanna across his face entered the store at Butterfield and Lloyd in unincorporated Lombard, approached the clerk, displayed a handgun and demanded the money out of the register, according to a release from the DuPage County Sheriff's office.
The clerk told police that after he gave the cash to the robber, the man ran out of the store and headed north on Lloyd. I was there... when i went there, there were no cops and no one was in any type of panic and also there was like 3 or 4 people their when i went in. i was there around 12:05....craziness of Life ;)

Friday Went to Kompute Party @ neo for a little bit, missed Green Velvet party @ soundbar :( Had to get up early to drop off the P's at the airport by 6am. Jen Worked @ 7am on saturday(4/24) as well. Saturday night Squared and L Jen and myself went to Exit for a party it was a pretty fun time- Dave got Mega drunk- weird like- falling over falling down stairs, tho it was a pretty fun night boozin and kick'n tunes (: finally got home around 5am
Sunday chill day at the house...small fight w/ Jen at night then everything worked out and she spent the night at my house.
- Dave and I started working on White and Dry remix and Time for Living remix and utilizing the vocoder alot and Gawwdammnnn Fatttttneeesssssss!!!! Big ole fattyboombattyness of better sounds. well see how it comes out.

We also got booked for a party on friday via Angel in wicker park. called Space Case..we'll see how it goes

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

wknd update 04/09/10-04/12/10

What a weekend its been, Friday was a night we were booked at a party on the northside in the heart of Logan Square (ithink) we (squard'd L, PSN n myself)
we got there early helped set up, Alex booked us to open and after all the sound was set up we found out my headphone jack broke and we couldnt play... that caused me to be super upset. Jen and I went home D n L stayed out there said the party was amazing and alex bang'd classicly. but i guess the venue got SUPER trashed and all the nu-kids fukd it up proper. :/
Saturday Jen shopping 4 her Bday got her a few things then then we to Enclave to party, she got the hook up from Kathy her friend from work- she got bonnie in- Crazy Brian (Scenester) and his g/f came out with myself, Jen, Bonnie and Clydefrog(justin) we had alot of fun. Jen and Bon got sick Justin was Drunk and i was tipsy but good times-
Justin and I went to Mc Donald's around 4am then came back to the girls house to PassOUT. But it was alot of fun, the music wasnt bad, NO ONE really danced at all, but we all had a good time(:
Sunday i took my imac to the mac specialists they said it would be a week b4 i got it back :( but its a free fix which is good
prob more later

Oh SNAP I GOTS ME A RAISE !!!! Woooo extra money (: next paychck will have backpay on it for 4 months

Thursday, April 8, 2010

4/08/2010

good backup
http://twitter.com/proxysites

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

04/07/2010 PSN 21st BDAY!


Its PSN's 21st today Woooo! We going downtown on Saturday to celebrate her Birthday. We got booked at gig this Friday at a loft on Milwaukee ave. we also got booked at a 3day camp out the first weekend in June called Culture Shock i think. We need to get the kaoss fixed asap so we can use it this weekend. i dont know if i forgot to mention but cups II lost an eye due to an infection... that really causes a bad hurt inside..

more later.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

04/01/2010

HELLO WORLD- I FOUND THIS AND AGREE WITH IT. Oh Technology, our advances have resulted in a matrix of real-time information that flows causing challenges to the inadequacy of the structures of power to respond both with effective impact and in a timely way. Exponential technological changes are redefining, broadening and fragmenting the media landscape in dramatic ways. They impact directly and profoundly by way of two new realities.

Monday, March 29, 2010

weekend of 26th March, 2010

We played Take 2. we had minor sound/mixer problems in the beginning but the second half of our set RAWKED! Psn got some good pics/vid on her camera and mine. It was a pretty lowkey spot total Rave. Lights, Big screen, T O N S of kandi Kids... fun times...for what it was. - SIDE NOTE _ *coincidence or conscientiousness : it will be a book designed to debate my theory of our ultimate mental potential. I find that mantras, repetitive prayer, concentrating on thoughts to amplify the magnitude of brain waves into the development of creation, either in creation itself, or constructing tangible/intangible ways of accomplishing creation. I believe the process of repeating any thought can amplify in a significant way the desired outcome of that thought. I must research more and develop a better structure. BUT IT WILL BE DONE.

The reset of the weekend was pretty chill. My mom came home on Saturday from Cali.
more later...

Friday, March 26, 2010

been a little while 3/26/10

ok so booked for a party tonight Take 2 we play 11-11:30pm
life has been ok busy but not bad everything has been going by so Fast
Craig has become super distance it seems- im guessing bad blood due to an email Dave sent him which kinda sucks for me. Matt stated the URB magazine will have an interview with him and We will be mentioned in the interview (: So [esc]ape will be in a official publication wooo!

Friday, March 19, 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsiGqtrG3B8

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

speeding ticket advice 3/16/10

A friend of Tweaksmellsfunny -So I got this $400 speeding ticket . Plan: go to court and request to see the radar gun calibration for that day. One day prior to the court date.. Ill reschedule & Since the cop will only get paid for one court day. There's a chance he wont show up and case dismissed.(I made small talk with him and know his schedule) ...BUT- If he shows up and I lose - I cant go to traffic school. risk reward analysis my specialty

Monday, March 15, 2010

lets play mustard

i mean catchup- 03/15/10
Where to start..last week editing aSHITton for "plus" video- Dave did a majority of editing and with my guidance it is 99% done and looking real Proper. We stayed in most of the weekend. Slept, watched movies, saw Shes outta my league- kinda dumb but funny- Working on newer version of mustard- sounds Really F'n Good- count down begins for Jen's 21st and Demf.

Friday, March 5, 2010

week update 03/05/10

work is where im at...very blah... its a beautiful day here, yesterday too. dont know what to say, life has been in lull lately it seems. music has been ok, we will probably start working on editing the music video on monday.
A LOOK AT THE SEVEN CHAKRAS

We may think of the first seven chakras as seven levels of energy and consciousness associated with specific locations in the body. (Other chakras are in aura.)


Chakra 7 -- the Crown Chakra -- Sahasrara -- on top of head
entry into no boundary consciousness -- non-dual --
no subject and object thinking (Ken Wilber’s Unitive Consciousness)

Chakra 6 -- the Third Eye Chakra -- Ajna -- just above and between eyebrows --
union with deity -- direct experience of non-ego reality of Self (linked
with Wilber’s Subtle or Saintly realm)

Chakra 5 -- Throat Chakra -- Visuddha -- region of throat --
psychical reality -- has to do with sound and hearing -- a listening and
observing in stillness. Taking responsibility for thought as well as behavior.
Increasing forgiveness, free from greed, hate and pride. (Wilber’s Psychic realm)

Chakra 4 -- Heart Chakra -- Anahata -- in the heart region, above diaphragm --
air and subtle fire -- subtle energies of spirit -- (Wilber’s centauric consciousness --
integrating mind and body)

Chakra 3 -- Power Chakra -- Manipura -- fire -- located in solar plexus or upper center of
abdomen -- balance point in martial arts -- power, will, intentionality -- one is
still not free -- fear and desire for control -- ideology -- “what we all believe --
high value on logic and reason and running things -- motivation is achievement --
something of territoriality here also.

Chakra 2 -- Genital Chakra (sometimes called Spleen Chakra) -- Svadhisthana --
associated with sexuality or general life-expansiveness -- represented by water --
a sort of “you and me” consciousness in which relationships are central --
motivation based on desire for approval or love from another person --
at this stage sex and spirituality are differentiated and tend to be experienced as opposites

Chakra 1 -- Root Chakra -- Muladhara -- located in perineum -- associated with survival and
represented by element of earth -- looks to basic material needs -- safety, food, shelter --
a very "me centered" consciousness. Often linked with magical thinking -- fear is dominant emotion --
fear of loss of physical health or material possessions.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

weeknd update from 2/26/2010

friday was the Anny of "Bang" party. We _PSN, Square'd and myself_ went to Kompute HQ and shot the "plus" video. HolyFuk the basement (which was like the 3rd) basement was EPIC! We scraped all intended plans for the video- I wanted to depict life or make a social commentary but i was unsure how. Either with the message of hope or hopelessness due to our reliance on technology. When Matt suggested the basement, we found in the hallway a Huge black cross( which played nicely to our theme unintentionally) The basement had an extremely industrial vibe which i liked, we did a photoshoot inside the boiler room and also got video of shadows of dave and the cross and also of me smashing a computer part simialar to a motherboard with the cross and while doing that the cross broke( symbolizing the opposing forces of Christianity and technology) Also we got amazing footage of square'ds head bleeding from a gash on his forehead and the camera perfectly captured the blood starting to run down his face- in reveres its E P I C ! after some more recording we headed home- oh ya almost died. tried to make a sharp turn to an exit tht i was starting to pass up- the ground was wet from the snow (itwassnowing) adn slid and skidded out if there was a median there we all would have died. gained control didnt hit any cars or blow out my tires..haha good times..
saturday 2/27 built a robot with dave for future song development- chill night of movies with Jen stayed in bed all sunday watched more movies rested up it was good (;

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

from friday to 2day

2/23/2010

Friday. Saw shutter island with Jen, it was kinda crappy with good acting. Before we headed out i had dave pick up some Wine from Jobby's work and Damn it was delicious (: i think it help'd for the movie.

Saturday



Sunday i forget

Thursday, February 18, 2010

From Auto Axon(nick)

If you’re reading this, you’re no doubt asking yourself, “Why did this have to happen?” The simple truth is that it is complicated and has been coming for a long time. The writing process, started many months ago, was intended to be therapy in the face of the looming realization that there isn’t enough therapy in the world that can fix what is really broken. Needless to say, this rant could fill volumes with example after example if I would let it. I find the process of writing it frustrating, tedious, and probably pointless… especially given my gross inability to gracefully articulate my thoughts in light of the storm raging in my head. Exactly what is therapeutic about that I’m not sure, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

We are all taught as children that without laws there would be no society, only anarchy. Sadly, starting at early ages we in this country have been brainwashed to believe that, in return for our dedication and service, our government stands for justice for all. We are further brainwashed to believe that there is freedom in this place, and that we should be ready to lay our lives down for the noble principals represented by its founding fathers. Remember? One of these was “no taxation without representation”. I have spent the total years of my adulthood unlearning that crap from only a few years of my childhood. These days anyone who really stands up for that principal is promptly labeled a “crackpot”, traitor and worse.

While very few working people would say they haven’t had their fair share of taxes (as can I), in my lifetime I can say with a great degree of certainty that there has never been a politician cast a vote on any matter with the likes of me or my interests in mind. Nor, for that matter, are they the least bit interested in me or anything I have to say.

Why is it that a handful of thugs and plunderers can commit unthinkable atrocities (and in the case of the GM executives, for scores of years) and when it’s time for their gravy train to crash under the weight of their gluttony and overwhelming stupidity, the force of the full federal government has no difficulty coming to their aid within days if not hours? Yet at the same time, the joke we call the American medical system, including the drug and insurance companies, are murdering tens of thousands of people a year and stealing from the corpses and victims they cripple, and this country’s leaders don’t see this as important as bailing out a few of their vile, rich cronies. Yet, the political “representatives” (thieves, liars, and self-serving scumbags is far more accurate) have endless time to sit around for year after year and debate the state of the “terrible health care problem”. It’s clear they see no crisis as long as the dead people don’t get in the way of their corporate profits rolling in.

And justice? You’ve got to be kidding!

How can any rational individual explain that white elephant conundrum in the middle of our tax system and, indeed, our entire legal system? Here we have a system that is, by far, too complicated for the brightest of the master scholars to understand. Yet, it mercilessly “holds accountable” its victims, claiming that they’re responsible for fully complying with laws not even the experts understand. The law “requires” a signature on the bottom of a tax filing; yet no one can say truthfully that they understand what they are signing; if that’s not “duress” than what is. If this is not the measure of a totalitarian regime, nothing is.

How did I get here?

My introduction to the real American nightmare starts back in the early ‘80s. Unfortunately after more than 16 years of school, somewhere along the line I picked up the absurd, pompous notion that I could read and understand plain English. Some friends introduced me to a group of people who were having ‘tax code’ readings and discussions. In particular, zeroed in on a section relating to the wonderful “exemptions” that make institutions like the vulgar, corrupt Catholic Church so incredibly wealthy. We carefully studied the law (with the help of some of the “best”, high-paid, experienced tax lawyers in the business), and then began to do exactly what the “big boys” were doing (except that we weren’t steeling from our congregation or lying to the government about our massive profits in the name of God). We took a great deal of care to make it all visible, following all of the rules, exactly the way the law said it was to be done.

The intent of this exercise and our efforts was to bring about a much-needed re-evaluation of the laws that allow the monsters of organized religion to make such a mockery of people who earn an honest living. However, this is where I learned that there are two “interpretations” for every law; one for the very rich, and one for the rest of us… Oh, and the monsters are the very ones making and enforcing the laws; the inquisition is still alive and well today in this country.

That little lesson in patriotism cost me $40,000+, 10 years of my life, and set my retirement plans back to 0. It made me realize for the first time that I live in a country with an ideology that is based on a total and complete lie. It also made me realize, not only how naive I had been, but also the incredible stupidity of the American public; that they buy, hook, line, and sinker, the crap about their “freedom”… and that they continue to do so with eyes closed in the face of overwhelming evidence and all that keeps happening in front of them.

Before even having to make a shaky recovery from the sting of the first lesson on what justice really means in this country (around 1984 after making my way through engineering school and still another five years of “paying my dues”), I felt I finally had to take a chance of launching my dream of becoming an independent engineer.

On the subjects of engineers and dreams of independence, I should digress somewhat to say that I’m sure that I inherited the fascination for creative problem solving from my father. I realized this at a very young age.

The significance of independence, however, came much later during my early years of college; at the age of 18 or 19 when I was living on my own as student in an apartment in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. My neighbor was an elderly retired woman (80+ seemed ancient to me at that age) who was the widowed wife of a retired steel worker. Her husband had worked all his life in the steel mills of central Pennsylvania with promises from big business and the union that, for his 30 years of service, he would have a pension and medical care to look forward to in his retirement. Instead he was one of the thousands who got nothing because the incompetent mill management and corrupt union (not to mention the government) raided their pension funds and stole their retirement. All she had was social security to live on.

In retrospect, the situation was laughable because here I was living on peanut butter and bread (or Ritz crackers when I could afford to splurge) for months at a time. When I got to know this poor figure and heard her story I felt worse for her plight than for my own (I, after all, I thought I had everything to in front of me). I was genuinely appalled at one point, as we exchanged stories and commiserated with each other over our situations, when she in her grandmotherly fashion tried to convince me that I would be “healthier” eating cat food (like her) rather than trying to get all my substance from peanut butter and bread. I couldn’t quite go there, but the impression was made. I decided that I didn’t trust big business to take care of me, and that I would take responsibility for my own future and myself.

Return to the early ‘80s, and here I was off to a terrifying start as a ‘wet-behind-the-ears’ contract software engineer... and two years later, thanks to the fine backroom, midnight effort by the sleazy executives of Arthur Andersen (the very same folks who later brought us Enron and other such calamities) and an equally sleazy New York Senator (Patrick Moynihan), we saw the passage of 1986 tax reform act with its section 1706.

For you who are unfamiliar, here is the core text of the IRS Section 1706, defining the treatment of workers (such as contract engineers) for tax purposes. Visit this link for a conference committee report (http://www.synergistech.com/1706.shtml#ConferenceCommitteeReport) regarding the intended interpretation of Section 1706 and the relevant parts of Section 530, as amended. For information on how these laws affect technical services workers and their clients, read our discussion here (http://www.synergistech.com/ic-taxlaw.shtml).

SEC. 1706. TREATMENT OF CERTAIN TECHNICAL PERSONNEL.

(a) IN GENERAL - Section 530 of the Revenue Act of 1978 is amended by adding at the end thereof the following new subsection:

(d) EXCEPTION. - This section shall not apply in the case of an individual who pursuant to an arrangement between the taxpayer and another person, provides services for such other person as an engineer, designer, drafter, computer programmer, systems analyst, or other similarly skilled worker engaged in a similar line of work.

(b) EFFECTIVE DATE. - The amendment made by this section shall apply to remuneration paid and services rendered after December 31, 1986.

Note:

· "another person" is the client in the traditional job-shop relationship.

· "taxpayer" is the recruiter, broker, agency, or job shop.

· "individual", "employee", or "worker" is you.



Admittedly, you need to read the treatment to understand what it is saying but it’s not very complicated. The bottom line is that they may as well have put my name right in the text of section (d). Moreover, they could only have been more blunt if they would have came out and directly declared me a criminal and non-citizen slave. Twenty years later, I still can’t believe my eyes.

During 1987, I spent close to $5000 of my ‘pocket change’, and at least 1000 hours of my time writing, printing, and mailing to any senator, congressman, governor, or slug that might listen; none did, and they universally treated me as if I was wasting their time. I spent countless hours on the L.A. freeways driving to meetings and any and all of the disorganized professional groups who were attempting to mount a campaign against this atrocity. This, only to discover that our efforts were being easily derailed by a few moles from the brokers who were just beginning to enjoy the windfall from the new declaration of their “freedom”. Oh, and don’t forget, for all of the time I was spending on this, I was loosing income that I couldn’t bill clients.

After months of struggling it had clearly gotten to be a futile exercise. The best we could get for all of our trouble is a pronouncement from an IRS mouthpiece that they weren’t going to enforce that provision (read harass engineers and scientists). This immediately proved to be a lie, and the mere existence of the regulation began to have its impact on my bottom line; this, of course, was the intended effect.

Again, rewind my retirement plans back to 0 and shift them into idle. If I had any sense, I clearly should have left abandoned engineering and never looked back.

Instead I got busy working 100-hour workweeks. Then came the L.A. depression of the early 1990s. Our leaders decided that they didn’t need the all of those extra Air Force bases they had in Southern California, so they were closed; just like that. The result was economic devastation in the region that rivaled the widely publicized Texas S&L fiasco. However, because the government caused it, no one gave a shit about all of the young families who lost their homes or street after street of boarded up houses abandoned to the wealthy loan companies who received government funds to “shore up” their windfall. Again, I lost my retirement.

Years later, after weathering a divorce and the constant struggle trying to build some momentum with my business, I find myself once again beginning to finally pick up some speed. Then came the .COM bust and the 911 nightmare. Our leaders decided that all aircraft were grounded for what seemed like an eternity; and long after that, ‘special’ facilities like San Francisco were on security alert for months. This made access to my customers prohibitively expensive. Ironically, after what they had done the Government came to the aid of the airlines with billions of our tax dollars … as usual they left me to rot and die while they bailed out their rich, incompetent cronies WITH MY MONEY! After these events, there went my business but not quite yet all of my retirement and savings.

By this time, I’m thinking that it might be good for a change. Bye to California, I’ll try Austin for a while. So I moved, only to find out that this is a place with a highly inflated sense of self-importance and where damn little real engineering work is done. I’ve never experienced such a hard time finding work. The rates are 1/3 of what I was earning before the crash, because pay rates here are fixed by the three or four large companies in the area who are in collusion to drive down prices and wages… and this happens because the justice department is all on the take and doesn’t give a fuck about serving anyone or anything but themselves and their rich buddies.

To survive, I was forced to cannibalize my savings and retirement, the last of which was a small IRA. This came in a year with mammoth expenses and not a single dollar of income. I filed no return that year thinking that because I didn’t have any income there was no need. The sleazy government decided that they disagreed. But they didn’t notify me in time for me to launch a legal objection so when I attempted to get a protest filed with the court I was told I was no longer entitled to due process because the time to file ran out. Bend over for another $10,000 helping of justice.

So now we come to the present. After my experience with the CPA world, following the business crash I swore that I’d never enter another accountant’s office again. But here I am with a new marriage and a boatload of undocumented income, not to mention an expensive new business asset, a piano, which I had no idea how to handle. After considerable thought I decided that it would be irresponsible NOT to get professional help; a very big mistake.

When we received the forms back I was very optimistic that they were in order. I had taken all of the years information to Bill Ross, and he came back with results very similar to what I was expecting. Except that he had neglected to include the contents of Sheryl’s unreported income; $12,700 worth of it. To make matters worse, Ross knew all along this was missing and I didn’t have a clue until he pointed it out in the middle of the audit. By that time it had become brutally evident that he was representing himself and not me.

This left me stuck in the middle of this disaster trying to defend transactions that have no relationship to anything tax-related (at least the tax-related transactions were poorly documented). Things I never knew anything about and things my wife had no clue would ever matter to anyone. The end result is… well, just look around.

I remember reading about the stock market crash before the “great” depression and how there were wealthy bankers and businessmen jumping out of windows when they realized they screwed up and lost everything. Isn’t it ironic how far we’ve come in 60 years in this country that they now know how to fix that little economic problem; they just steal from the middle class (who doesn’t have any say in it, elections are a joke) to cover their asses and it’s “business-as-usual”. Now when the wealthy fuck up, the poor get to die for the mistakes… isn’t that a clever, tidy solution.

As government agencies go, the FAA is often justifiably referred to as a tombstone agency, though they are hardly alone. The recent presidential puppet GW Bush and his cronies in their eight years certainly reinforced for all of us that this criticism rings equally true for all of the government. Nothing changes unless there is a body count (unless it is in the interest of the wealthy sows at the government trough). In a government full of hypocrites from top to bottom, life is as cheap as their lies and their self-serving laws.

I know I’m hardly the first one to decide I have had all I can stand. It has always been a myth that people have stopped dying for their freedom in this country, and it isn’t limited to the blacks, and poor immigrants. I know there have been countless before me and there are sure to be as many after. But I also know that by not adding my body to the count, I insure nothing will change. I choose to not keep looking over my shoulder at “big brother” while he strips my carcass, I choose not to ignore what is going on all around me, I choose not to pretend that business as usual won’t continue; I have just had enough.

I can only hope that the numbers quickly get too big to be white washed and ignored that the American zombies wake up and revolt; it will take nothing less. I would only hope that by striking a nerve that stimulates the inevitable double standard, knee-jerk government reaction that results in more stupid draconian restrictions people wake up and begin to see the pompous political thugs and their mindless minions for what they are. Sadly, though I spent my entire life trying to believe it wasn’t so, but violence not only is the answer, it is the only answer. The cruel joke is that the really big chunks of shit at the top have known this all along and have been laughing, at and using this awareness against, fools like me all along.

I saw it written once that the definition of insanity is repeating the same process over and over and expecting the outcome to suddenly be different. I am finally ready to stop this insanity. Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let’s try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well.



The communist creed: From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

The capitalist creed: From each according to his gullibility, to each according to his greed.



Joe Stack (1956-2010)

02/18/2010

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wise words

"One must still have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star" -Nietzsche

Monday, February 15, 2010

02/15/10

wknd update-
went w squared dwntwn
some time last week maybe tues.
Been working on some songs and etc. mag designs. Plans are complete magazine- my intentions are like a mockery of CL matching abstract original elements semi T&E structure with postings / ads of jobs that can be preformed. Submit to [AS] for airing. New Name idea music group concept. The Machines or spanish version of name b/c it sounds better. Lots of video work lined up which is good. $$$$ We are playing a kompute event on the 26th. kinda kept it a low key weeknd. Thursday Jen n I saw Crazy Heart and it was really good. a very positive movie/ could have had darker but still good. Friday hung at Squard's then to PSN's cuz she had work @ 7am- Saturday totally Crash out day. watched movies in bed- Sunday V Day Jen made me Awesome Pancakes, had dinner at her house then saw V day with her sis and justin her b/f that movie wasnt bad at all. then we went to Daves for Chinese New Year Party, stayed there for 15 min or so then back to Jens n home to sleep.

Monday, February 8, 2010

weeknd up dat3.


Friday worked on sum etc. mag designs with squared, drank with him and Jen and kept it chill n local watching SuperJail and a bad Movie on WCIU 10- Jen and L both fell alseeps and dave n did sum more designs then Jen n eye headed home. Saturday Night we ended up at a Source Party and it was a pretty good rave- We didnt have to, kinda just walked in.. D n L, PSN, her sis and her sis b/f and myself Bad Ass lasers, tones of People Slamming techno no beer, but we totally could have snuk some in, after 30 min or so Squared asked if I wanna bean, i we all basically said no...someone else said yes and...Lights on COPS..it was an undercover... found some video of it happening while Justin Long was playing Here then we hung outside some parking lot for a few trying to find the next party (Oops the video was from downstairs not upstairs where we were) drinking in the parkinglot some cop trying to give us shit telling us to go fucking home blah blah. we tried to go to another party out my Zentra but that was a fail. so We all trucked on to Squareds where we drank till 4 or so then we assed out and Jen and I left around 7 am then passed out at Jen's till 12 or so. the 7th which was our 2 year Anny. we went to woodfield I get her an makeup pencil and she got me some clothes. It was a pretty relaxed evening and we made Smoothies which we oober tasty. Also made Beer Brawts earlier too. Today stuck at work...wanted to call off but I went in and now im stuck here till 7...Ghey

Monday, January 25, 2010

Wknd Update 1/25/10

Friday went downtown to some club with Jen - met up with her friends and got trash'd danced to sum Horrible music ( the best music was heard when we were outside waiting to go in) Drunkin night ended with Tacos @ the BEsT place for Tacos (:

Saturday did photo shoot for Jens hair stylist, then music /photoshop/gimp for like 7 hours @ Squareds



Something old/

Our emotional state of choice is Ecstasy. Our nourishment of choice is Love. Our addiction of choice is technology. Our religion of choice is music. Our currency of choice is knowledge. Our politics of choice is none. Our society of choice is utopian though we know it will never be. You may hate us. You may dismiss us. You may misunderstand us. You may be unaware of our existence. We can only hope you do not care to judge us, because we would never judge you. We are not criminals. We are not disillusioned. We are not drug addicts. We are not naive children. We are one massive, global, tribal village that transcends man-made law, physical geography, and time itself. We are The Massive. One Massive. We were first drawn by the sound. From far away, the thunderous, muffled, echoing beat was comparable to a mother's heart soothing a child in her womb of concrete, steel, and electrical wiring. We were drawn back into this womb, and there, in the heat, dampness, and darkness of it, we came to accept that we are all the same. We came to accept that we are all equal. Not only to the darkness, and to ourselves, but to the very music slamming into us and passing through our souls: we are all equal. And somewhere around 35Hz we could feel the hand of God at our backs, pushing us forward, pushing us to push ourselves to strengthen our minds, our bodies, and our spirits. Pushing us to turn to the person beside us to join hands and uplift them by sharing the uncontrollable joy we felt from creating this magical bubble that can, for one evening, protect us from the horrors, atrocities, and pollution of the outside world. It is in that very instant, with these very realizations that each of was truly born. We continue to pack our bodies into clubs, or warehouses, or buildings you've abandoned and left for naught, and we bring life to them for one night. Strong, throbbing, vibrant life in it's purest, most intense, most hedonistic form. In these makeshift spaces, we seek to shed ourselves of the burden of uncertainty for a future you have been unable to stabilize and secure for us. We seek to relinquish our inhibitions, and free ourselves from the shackles and restraints you've put on us for your own peace of mind. We seek to re-write the programming that you have tried to indoctrinate us with since the moment we were born. Programming that tells us to hate, that tells us to judge, that tells us to stuff ourselves into the nearest and most convenient pigeon hole possible. Programming that even tells us to climb ladders for you, jump through hoops, and run through mazes and on hamster wheels. Programming that tells us to eat from the shiny silver spoon you are trying to feed us with, instead of nourish ourselves with our own capable hands. Programming that tells us to close our minds, instead of open them. Until the sun rises to burn our eyes by revealing the distopian reality of the world you've created for us, we dance fiercely with our brothers and sisters in celebration of our life, of our culture, and of the values we believe in: Peace, Love, Freedom, Tolerance, Unity, Harmony, Expression, Responsibility and Respect. Our enemy of choice is ignorance. Our weapon of choice is information. Our crime of choice is breaking and challenging whatever laws you feel you need to put in place to stop us from celebrating our existence. But know that while you may shut down any given party, on any given night, in any given city, in any given country or continent on this beautiful planet, you can never shut down the entire party. You don't have access to that switch, no matter what you may think. The music will never stop. The heartbeat will never fade. The party will never end. I am a raver, and this is my manifesto."

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Plus wave

Kompute: dude
pluswav is so sick
ima play at my gig this saturday
and put in my new mix
on the 26th

its nice to know we dont suck. (:

Go to Beatport.comGet These TracksAdd This Player

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

01/20/10

http://soundcloud.com/escape/escape-011910
recorded @ SPACE AUDYSSEY RECORDINGS in Chicago via Kevin Sender.
He Truly knows what hes doing and the sound quality is Great! We finally have something good to send out for our Promo Package.

Friday, January 15, 2010

01/15/2010

We have an official EP coming on 05/01/2010 we have a live video being shot at Kompute HQ 02/26/2010
live mix via Jona http://www.globalvortexradio.com
Crave studios completed the video for FP - i went to bring the burned wav. and dvd but the Markerting Director was in a Different State and it was NOT expressed to me that they would be in FL. it was a big struggle getting the 14min video online. the 2nd part went up Just fine...but the First part would not get uploaded at all. The DVD and Wav. was Fedexed overnight. I do not know if it made it in time. the final video was also sent to the Directors FTP but the time was horrible with the upload. Barely got to sleep...tons of pressure...and dealing the regular work too...ugh.. i needed a destressor of life...

Monday, January 11, 2010

1/8/2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D64owpBrZHk

we did a live recording for an internet radioshow (jona aka filthy liar) at Liz ) quantezelle(?) spot in Logan Square

Monday, January 4, 2010

2010 Jan, 4th

Hey its 2010...crazy weird....and stuck here @ work.

New Years was pretty good- Jen, L, Square'd and myself started off NYE at there place in downers- drank sum champagne
before we head'd out to a party that we got booked at last minute for which was a Crystal Castles after party. That fell through when we were driving there. we celebrated 12:00 in my car as we were driving to the Crystal Castles show that Zelenka was playing- Jen and I went in, First person i saw was Brandon Beck- we caught about the last half of the CC show it was ok. Dave n L were in my car waiting actually having a good time (: which work'd out nicely- after Jen and I left the CC show we drank a wee bit outside...and after some time my car die.. We needed a Jump and it was about 4 degrees outside (: lucky enough we got a jump within about 5 min and then L's friend was at a party RIght across the street...and dave brought in the comp and we play'd there and people were Diggin the tunes ( 75% ) of all my music !!!
boozed ther
Dave was upstairs jam'n out then we head'd home around 3am
Picked up Joby on the way home- guess he got into a fight with an ex's husband- totem poll-
dave pukie on the way home

crashed out at Jen's
No fights, (not including joby) no DUI's no Real Problems = A Great NYE !!!!!!!

2010 here we are and Hear we Come.

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