re-cap

wow dont remember where i lift off @. 11-27-07

Justin was in town, bad ideas n broken dreams, ear wax diablo kush ect...fukn around chilln with Jeanette..

O my mind... depression is a heavy cloude following my footsteps. Crazyness for Dave's 24th Bday @ Vision. fights in the streets , parking garages...yea..
all and all i need to change my life.

11-15-07

in the studio with Z on tuesday night... he brought a few different wav. files that i have given him and put them into ableton and wow... shit was bang'N!!!!!! going to finish the track tonight i believe. Been chillin with jeanette lately, watchin Nip Tuk and talkn about life. we seem to be very similar. though someone else has been on my mind alot...........wow... heard that T was on H, had a small stroke, but shit is still F'd up...startd to talk to lisa for a few days but realized shes just a dumb bad person. Justin will be back from LA soon, Daves Birthday is coming up, maybe Broken dreams, who knows... i have been stayin sober alot. still think of bang but not too much... i stopped most of those feelings... life is still confusing. I having been moving in a direction, that i can only assume is foward..one day ill be able to help all that need it, ya give what u get...i have been shown alot of love from many others, i need to share this love with all that i meet. Thanksgiving is coming up in Dekalb...we will see how that goes.

until then,

past good times ; )

crazyness of life

so this week was deff a different one. Was kinda craked out after the whole weekend, gettin to meet Jeanette, being in the studio and not workin on anything...and the whole dekalb thing.. ugh.. but anywho out of Left field just like b4 this person messages me who i have often thought about and wow...years later..and still beautiful. anyhow things are almost finally done with any feeling left for bang. Time to move forward. Justin will be out her soon, Daves turning 24.. life is moving. Been hangin out with Jeanette and just kinda talking... she is pretty sweet and semi reminds me of me a little bit... oh to be young again.... who knows whats happening with that. the more you change the less you feel...Smashing Pumpkins...ahah that K was awesome that night, thanks Z. Tryed to go to 2 partys last night with Jeanette but it didnt work out, things usually dont work out they way their planed with her.. oh well, shes really pretty.

i just dont kno.

So friday 11-2-07, Well let me back track... on the 30th of Oct my computer broke. im still trying to figure out if i lost the last 3+ years of work, or if i can save anything... but either way i am screwed... :( then Friday got my first speeding ticket and a seat belt ticket going to pick up Jeanette to meet for the first time. (financially im doing kinda shitty right now) I could really use some help...After Dave n I picked her up we headed downtown to the Party -Deep- where Mr. Bobby was going to play sum of my tracks... but we went to the wrong location and didnt find the party( and i use to always ALWAYS find the party..but i feel as i have changed). SO we ended up going to the studio drinking and chilln wit Marko and Alex. But Jeanette ended up gettin kinda sick so we had to dip. but it was really fun getting to know her and finally meeting her. Saturday crazy shit... got ditched kinda by sum friends. didnt take her to Dekalb, and didnt even drink...well had one Drink the whole time i was there.... we played some tunes. dave actually Dj'ed for the first time adn the people wer have'n fun but i just chilled upstairs by myself. I felt like some weird kinda tension from B. and started to feel really down. oh rolliepollie with Squared on the Ride up ther* but yea SO Sunday... did a dine-n-dash at like the only place to eat in Dekalb...and i think that really piss'd off people... so i think im going to take some time off from everyone and everything.... i dont think people really want me around...im trouble...im troubled... and it seems to be a burden on most people... im sorry.
i dont know or how i have become who i am... and i do not like this person...